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[ Thursday, July 7, 2005 (6:50 PM) ] ( link )
Zen Gunman, Unique, Independent: In one of my endless vanity searches through Google (truly, everything is more fun than studying for the bar), I came across the following genuinely "WTF?!" moment:
(A text description of the card is here.)
I'd come across the link before but had never quite followed up on it. Well, a little research reveals that "Steven Wu" is a character in the trading-card game Shadowfist, which is (as far as I can tell) in the same genre as Magic: The Gathering. But perhaps I should just let you see the official description:Shadowfist is the mile-a-minute, sword-clashing, butt-kicking, Uzi-spraying, boat-exploding, car-chasing, monster-crunching, Hong Kong cinematic action card game that is so epic it would take fourteen John Woos to film and a cast the likes of Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat and Michelle Yeoh. And that's just in the first five minutes!
It's like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Hard Boiled, Drunken Master, Wing Chun, The Killer, Storm Riders, Heroic Trio, Iron Monkey, Supercop, Master Killer, Ballistic Kiss, and the rest of your favorite Hong Kong action films all rolled into one.
Equal opportunity butt kicking, baby!
(emphasis in original) Well, hell yeah! What better way is there for an out-of-shape, risk-averse law student like myself to live out his adolescent kung fu fantasies than to have his name associated with a dual-Uzi-wielding black-trenchcoated Fabio of a hitman!
Unbelievably, on this page, some wet blanket dares to criticize this geekish embodiment of my id by saying, "On the big hitter front, Steven Wu certainly pays the bills, although some folks have complained that he's just a boring cross between Ting Ting and CHAR." Although I have not the slightest clue what he's talking about, I'm insulted. Where does he think that the Shadowfist Steven Wu gets his flowing brown locks, his crumpled urban grunge sartorial style, his outrageously sized and unhip sneakers? From lethal urban ninjas named (for God's sake) Ting Ting and CHAR? Please.
Indeed, so taken am I by this character, that you should expect to see the playing card's description of this alternate-reality Steven Wu on my resume any day now: Zen Gunman. Unique. Independent. Cannot have his damage redirected or reduced. Opponents cannot take control of him. "The bullet knows the way."
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